That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
