I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
