90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
