I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
