Where is the hickey?
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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