I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
