making cat noises will not fix the situation.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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