She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Two words: blizzard sex
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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