Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
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