Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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