Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize
