I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
