she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
