Three words: puerto rican gang bang
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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