Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
