I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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