Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
