oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
