i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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