just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
the condom got lost in my hair
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
