Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
