I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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