Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
