I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
