David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
