I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Randomize
