He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
