I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
where does the pee come out of this thing
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Semen is not good for contacts.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
