i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
