3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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