my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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