u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
