Quick, to the slutcave!
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
