So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
