I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
