Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
