Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
this boner is exhausting
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
