dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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