its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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