White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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