I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
