: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
