I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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