I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
