Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
