One girl and one boy is just not enough.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
