I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
