Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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