i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
