Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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