Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
